OPEN GYM

If the measure of a man is his children, then I guess I am doing a good job of life...cuz our kids are awesome. We spent five hours in the gym today playing all kinds of stuff. We even had two games of hockey. And my wife is doing great in life. So if the people I am around the most are good, then that is a good sign. For me personally though, I feel like a wreck. I look horrible, I feel terrible and I am just wasted. I have the chance to go out right now and all I want to do is lay down...not even sleep, but to just rest. Instead though, I am going to do some manly yoga. The tough part is that while there is stuff I would like to do, the thought of doing anything requiring energy just doesn't seem feasible right now. I know that I am feeling sorry for myself and entering into self-depression mode, but I am just out of it. So I am going to just "show up" and look forward to being better tomorrow.

PUSS N BOOTS

Seriously, we did showers, saw a movie...and that was it! It was a day of doing a better job of loving, but during my workout time, I got a little crazy. I just felt inside like I was losing it. For some reason, I went back to me mode. Online church was good, but I feel like it is in "not ready" mode yet. I should just agree to get it rolling and we'll make it happen...or let God make it happen. I guess I shouldn't focus on being "great" but just being...FOR GOD.

SLEEPOVER

Well, my mind set was a little better...a little less selfish, but my actions wouldn't have proved that very well. It was a great day for our kids though. I am so proud of them, all the cousins. They are such great kids! They are so great to have around and to be around. Tessa even started her own charity. They raised over $60 in one day! So while my mind set was better, I realize that my greatest accomplishment is what my kids do...and they are doing great. I have to grow closer to God though, for me, for them and for others.

COUSIN BIRTHDAY PARTY

The day started and after going to Target, I had no idea where the day was headed. I still don't know. We had Alexa's birthday today and while I was not feeling great about the day, it has turned out to be very good. Of course, I am speaking from a totally selfish perspective though, becuase I did almost nothing for anybody else today. I like to say I am waiting for the New Year's, but I think it is more of me just being selfish.

JACK'S BIRTHDAY

Well, another Christmas celebration day. I have made myself totally sick. And after a great Christmas holiday, my body is really feeling the effects. I haven't slept. I haven't eaten really well. And while I need to put my ego behind me and dedicate everything to God, my food, my money and my time and really suffering right now. And it is all for "stupid" stuff. Now, may I watch football and hoops today, yep. But I am looking at the New Year with renewed expectations. Looking back on Christmas though, it is sad that it is over. I couldn't have asked for a better day, holiday season. We did a good job of relating to other people this Christmas...it wasn't really only about us, and that made it special. Sure, there was still a lot of selfishness on my part, and every night when I write this I realize how selfish I have been, but for the most part, we did some really cool stuff, stuff God would seem to like, this Christmas!

JEFF AT ONLINE CHURCH

I don't have a lot of faith in getting anything started, but the chance to connect with Jeff Donohue tonight was awesome! I enjoy doing this online church thing, but it just seems that I don't have a great plan for making this thing work. I really have to learn to rely on God more, in all that I do, and just have fun with it. I can't put pressure on making online church work, or anything else. Why can't I just enjoy???? It would surely enable me to be more loving!

ALEXA'S BIRTHDAY PARTY

Another exhausting day, but a day that was well worth it. It does seem somewhat normal to have 15 kids over for a birthday party after Star Wars parties every Friday, but this new group of kids was great to have over. What was better than anything was watching our kids love their sister and all of her friends, helping out and just being great to all the kids. It will be nice to have some down time before Christmas now, but for today, we did a good job of showing others love I think!

FASTING

We had some good family time and we even got some one on one with Tessa in, but for some reason I feel horrible. Maybe I have the Christmas blues, or maybe I am just exhausted...just in time for a night of PAD's. That should be great. And while I didn't do a great job of loving others today, I did do a solid for mom and wasn't mean to the kids, so at least I didn't let my bad mood effect others.

HOPKINS PARK CHRISTMAS

We took our trip out to Hopkins Park and it seems like it was a really good deal. Those ladies work so hard and yet don't even get as much as a meal for themselves very often. It seems like a good thing we did, but I always hope that we aren't doing things in a bad way. I was just so tired today, I feel totally wiped, and I don't know why. Maybe all of this kid planning stuff is taking its toll. I just feel terrible today.

EARLY RISER

Dude, you gave me a lot of chances today and while I was off to a great start, man did I come crashing down. I should have taken a nap during the Bears' game, but I was all jacked up on Coke. After Thursday, when Rob reminded me about really loving my kids, I had so many opportunities to love kids today and yesterday, and I got a little selfish. It seems like the thing that gets in the way of being a loving person, more than anything else, is my own selfishness!

KID CRAZY

I planned the Christmas party, planned the Star Wars party, got ready for the basketball party and spent the whole day with kids...all on three hours of sleep. I am really exhausted and maybe I didn't have the greatest impact on kids, but to have the new neighbors coming over and making connections in the neighborhood is really great!

FEAST

I was going good today, but then there were people involved. I did a horrible job of being nice to Kathy, didn't do very well with Ashley at lunch and now it is after 1:00 in the morning and I still have to get the stuff inside from the car. Well, luckily I have the chance in a short three hours to give it a go again. We had a heck of an online church today though.

RAIDERS

I was really proud of Rob today. I was so impressed with how Bolingbrook is playing basketball. They play hard on defense. They execute at the end of games. And the kids carry themselves like quality individuals. It was really great to see. And loving, pretty good day for that. We had a good time with Bobby, listened to your voice and acted and then drove to Lombard. Looking back, this was really a fun day, taking some time to love others!

LAST MATH CLASS

I taught math class for the money, let's be honest. I taught Theology class to try and help people find their way back to God. It seems like I was more effective at the latter in the former. Maybe that is my nitch, or maybe instead of focusing on trying to get people to know God, I just was myself, the way God created me to be, and that was more effective. I am proud of myself because even though I am out of the fantasy football playoffs, I did a pretty good job of loving today.

KIND OF FAST

I thought that I was back to healthy, but I guess not. Once again, I was selfish, thought about what I wanted and didn't take enough time to think of others. I even ate food that I didn't need to, just got a little weak today. One day of bad eating and I lost my focus. Overall, I recognize what I need to do, but my discipline sometimes is lacking. As far as loving others, I wasn't really looking for opportunities to love others.

HAMSTRING

I didn't know how I was going to get it all in today...and now I know...hurt the leg. I couldn't run, couldn't really do anything on my leg, so it made for an easy day. We did a good job of loving others today, inviting people over to the house, meeting the neighbors and even taking a chance with having the "new kids" over. It made for one of our greatest Friday nights ever! It is really great to see how if you are patient, God really takes care of life. And the Brook won! I love it!

GOD DAY

I had a tough time trying to connect with God. Everything around the house is done. I have been getting more sleep than most human beings. But for some reason, I just can't seem to connect with God. It seems like the work out thing. I work harder and harder and just can't seem to see the results. I know that God is not a "results" kind of God, but what else should I be doing...or maybe what else should I not be doing is the question? Maybe I should be trying to have some fun. I get really caught up in the "being great" at everything, having everything just perfect. I wish that I could just enjoy life more, like I was yesterday in the morning. It doesn't make sense. I woke up crazy early, worked out and felt great. Then sometimes I just feel yucky.

CCC

It was a good day of meeting with Jordan and Kirsten and Becky, and the questions were pretty good. This church seems to be the only place where they really think I am good at something, so that must be some sort of sign. I don't know if I am treating this in the right way, but I sure am trying to be how you want me to be. I still talk about myself too much. I have to really watch that and become more others focused. I am, for some reason, very selfish. And I was in such a great mood this morning.

LAST TEACHING DAY

Did I love people today? Well, I loved myself, took care of myself, but I could have done a better job of thinking of others. When I got to class though, and with the kids and my wife, I did a much better job of just being kind and fun.

TRIPLE WORKOUT

There was fasting today, three workouts, waking up at 2:30...and I still made it through the day without really being crabby. So while I may not have been great at showing love to anyone today...and while I did get in a three hour nap...this was a day of great strides! I didn't go off on any of the kids, hung out with Liana and even spent some time with the kids at night. Looking back, I was a pretty good dad today. I even took off the headphones at Liana's practice to make room for people. So we're getting there.

CHRISTMAS PARTY

I can't remember when I have been this tired. The last thing I wanted to do was go to the Christmas Party, but it sure was good to meet those people. I may have lost a little of the social edge, but at least we did a good enough job keeping it nice. I know that I could have done better relating to people, but it's not for lack of effort.

HOME AND SCHOOL

Well, maybe I didn't really do a lot of loving today, but I did do a good job at CCC just taking time to talk to Sue Ferguson. I do feel bad because while I want to be social and learn about people, I hate to take away their time. Talking with Dave though really got me excited about the possibility of making something really cool happen internationally. Now honestly, I have no specific plans as to how this could come to be, but I am really excited about trying to find a way to make it work. Put this together with Kid City and it's like a dream career. Of course, I have to look past my own personal desire and really look for your plan. I have to be open to not doing this stuff and to making sure that you and our family comes first. If this is to be great, but if it is not, I really want to do what you want me to.