NAP TIME

Well, I put the nap in God's hands and wouldn't you know it, not only did everything get done today, but I also felt pretty darn good doing it. Now I know that I am supposed to talk about love here. And I know that this past weekend I totally just told God that my heart is his and that whatever I need to do to have a passionate faith, a faith that comes from the heart and not the head, then let that happen. But I have taken another course tonight in my line of thought. Tonight, I really began to wonder "what if this dream job ain't really what I am called to do?" What if God is calling me to do something else? It seems totally bonkers that this wouldn't work. It seems totally nuts for me not to do this. What I wonder is though, when is the excitement for the work going to start? When is the passion going to begin? It is not like I hate doing the work, but as I go through the process, there is nothing that excites me about doing this. I wonder if it is fear that I am dealing with, the fear of failure. Or is it fear that I won't really be good at this. Or do I feel insufficient to work, not in this ministry, per se, but as a member of the CCC staff? For some reason I really don't look forward to most of what I have been doing in this role and I have to wonder if there is anything that I am ever going to be excited about.