RETREAT DAY

I learned a lot today. First, I have a tough time doing things just for fun. I tried to spend the whole day doing nothing productive, but it wasn't easy. I sure did learn a lot though by just observing the outside world. I am so consumed by my own family and my own situation that I have been missing the picture. I have become the "mad" parent. We have stopped making the simple fun. That needs to change. I also need to stop being so concerned about sleep and worry more about wasting my days. I know that I need to take care of myself, but that seems to be more about eliminating stuff from my life. I also need to think about what God wants as far as the actions I am living. I know Kathy is going to be mad a lot, but we have to deal with that. Finally, taking time to myself is a really good idea. It's time to get back to reading, learning about God and taking time to pray. Football season has been great, but it's time for a change.

VIRUS

I haven't slept, our computer is down with a virus and my fantasy football team is about to lose. I just hope to do for God, but I just feel like such a dog right now. That is changing starting right now!

KIDS VS. PARENTS

I ran as hard as I could today, and it was still really slow. I don't know what happens to our days here. I seem to get nothing done. I used to be productive, but it seems like there is a lot more time spent "relationship building" rather than task accomplishing. I guess that is good though. While I can't see any tangible results, this is probably what God wants.

RICKER CHRISTMAS

This was a great day! Sure, we woke up a little early, but basketball, gymnastics, Target and Christmas at the folks was great. I did realize that eating not healthy ain't all it is cracked up to be, but it is good to just eat. Especially knowing that Monday it is all coming back. I have started to try to talk to people, take risks and make an effot. It is good stuff. This God plan really works sometimes!

SNOWMAN DAY

I was much better today, having fun with Liana, being nice to people at work and just being more of the person I want to be. The problem is, I always have to wind up going to work. I even prayed today to be used at Famous Dave's and then I messed up a check. It could have been a lot worse, but I am making mistakes I never made before. I just don't know why, but I do believe it has something to do with being too selfish. I have to get over this ego thing. I did recognize something today. While in the church, there were countless situations every day where I had to be outgoing and energetic and it was really tough for me. In the end though, I was glad I did that. I realize that now that I don't have to do that, I have an easy out. To be the person I want to be is to not do what comes naturally and avoid people. I have to take risks and be "me" to do what God wants me to I think.

MAD

The day after I told Kathy that I don't get mad, I was crabby for the entire second half of the day. I guess I need some sleep and I guess that my not eating a lot doesn't help, but I was a total wack job today. And I don't know why. Everything totally bothered me. Even Culver's Night, my time to shine, was bogus. I am becoming one of "those" parents and it ain't really good. I just feel like I need a break, need to do something. Let's see how I feel after sleeping, but I was the opposite of "loving" today.

SHOPPING SPREE

I get this shopping thing. I got my whole gift taken back, freed up some money and found Chubbies for 50% off on a Wednesday only sale (after I just woke up at 5:30 a.m.). Who says there isn't a God? More and more I am realizing that the more I get in tune with God, the better my life is and the more cool stuff happens. It is a pretty good deal. Now that I am not in the depression thing, life is so much better.

MUSEUM

I came into the day in a better state. I got up early to work out. With the kids we did a lot of cool stuff and we even had fun. We went swimming. We went to the museum. Once again, I am making baby strides. I still have to work on being a husband.

NORM

Norm and my parents really saved the day today. The battery problem was going to be tough to figure out, but in one swoop, mom and dad came through again. And we even had lunch! They are really special people. I hope to be like that someday. One thing I really love about my dad is that he never talks down about mom. I am horrible and getting worse at showing respect and love for Kathy in private and public. I have to become a better husband. I don't care what she does or does not do, it doesn't matter. I have to be a better husband. I have to show her love, be kind and really treat her with care and concern. I know that I just want attention and want people to feel sorry for me, but how juvenille is that. It's time to grow up, stop worrying about "me" and being the person God wants me to be. I have to die to myself to get there.

HOME AND SCHOOL MEETING

God, I want to be of service to people. I don't want to be selfish. I want to be selfless. I know that I should focus not on what I am doing, but who I am being. So should I continue to do this Home and School thing? There are just so many hours. What do you want?

EXPONENTIAL IMPACT

God, I just want to thank you for all of the blessings that you have given me and for all of the people that you have put into my life. Three years ago, I could not have imagined being in touch with the people that I have. After adopting children, it is amazing where we are financially and with time to connect with people and help make a difference. You have made a plan for our lives that is even greater than we ever thought possible. And it continues to get better. The more I put into living for you, the better life seems to be.

Thank You!