MY TWO WEEKS

So for the past two, post marathon weeks, I have been focusing on getting myself back in line with the person that I want to be. Finishing the marathon really gave me the go ahead to get back to working hard to get done what needs to get done. It also has enabled me to get sick surprisingly, go figure. In this time, I have really done a better job of connecting with God. I have been journaling, getting back into Church, reading the Bible, memorizing scripture...really just taking time to hang out with God. One of the things that I am finding is that I have more energy for life. It is not just in the results, but in the pursuit of trying new things. What has been frustrating is that no matter how much I do, or what plans I try to make, nothing seems to pan out. There seem to be no results, nothing that works. It is amazing to me that I don't have some role to help people right now. I am shocked that in my life right now, I am not doing more to make a difference in people's lives. I realize that right now, my relationships with people seem distant and that even the people who I don't know, I am reluctant to start up a conversation or try and make their life better. I am more content to just keep to myself. But I know that God is calling me to do more. My desire is there. So while I know that I am making progress and I know that I am becoming more fun and less depressing, I need to make some more progress and focus on the person I am and not my "resume" of what I am accomplishing. I really think that where I go from here is key. My time at Famous Dave's seems to be coming to an end. My opportunity to do what I really want is now. The adoption is over. The kids are set in their patters. Before Kathy gets this principal gig, if that happens, I should have a firm foundation on the next step of life. I hope and pray God that you are leading me where I should go and not watching me mess up your plan. I really have the desire to live for God and for others, it just doesn't seem like I am there yet.