HALLOWEEN

It was about as good of a Halloween as you could have. We went to Church and Dave talked about Dia Trebow, which really helped me realize how important it is to reproduce what you are doing through an apprentice. Then we got some good groceries at the folks house and some adult time for the day. Then we got back and the kids were great at trick-or-treating. No complaining and Alexa even worked our whole block. I even did a better job of relating to people, even with Darth Vader on. We even ended up with some cheese pizza. God just gave us a good one today.

HALLOWEEN WEEKEND

What a great idea, doing the Oswego party deal and then going to Dollinger Farm. We took our first trip to the Labrinth and took a half hour walking through the corn fields. It was a good time, but I have to admit that I was a little ticked off that we didn't find the way out. That was cool though. And we did get the chance to play with animals and play in the hay. It has been a good weekend. And I am doing better at trying to talk to people, but I realize more and more how much I am uncomfortable around people. It just doesn't come naturally to me.

HALLOWEEN PARTY

We made some baby steps today. Go figure, it is the first day that I actually feel tired, no work, and now we have a podcast to do. Oh well. At least I talked to a guy at Speedway and asked him about his daughter and even talked to the Jamba Juice worker. I'm making strides. Still could be more fun and I seem to be lacking energy, but I'm making progress. I continue to think of "as soon as..." for when to start, but tomorrow is the time to start. Right now is the time to start. There is no use in waiting, I can be happy, fun and loving right now.

NEW AVENUES

Every day seems to bring something that is better and better. We're all evened up on money now after day three of working. We're heading into the Halloween break with some family time on Saturday and Sunday. It looks like energy wise, I am good. Sure, I can't sleep at night, but that leads to getting a lot of stuff done. Around people though, I just feel out of sync. I really want to be a loving, kind person, but I am still thinking too much of myself. I hope to get out of that. Baby steps...I just want to keep getting closer to God and hopefully the rest will take care of itself. I do feel like it is happening.

NBA OPENING DAY

I am sitting here watching the Celtics play the Heat and just reflecting on what could have been an outstanding Speedway career. We started the day with a really cool breakfast at school. Then I went to the interview. And while I wasn't expecting this to be something that would work, I did hope that it would be a better fit for me. Then Tony said that it paid $8.25 and I knew that I couldn't do that. Back to the drawing board! I do wonder what God is doing and it seems like I am working but not going anywhere. I know something good is up though. I am excited about touching the world through speaking and book writing. Why not me? I want to make a difference, with God's help, why not?

MY TWO WEEKS

So for the past two, post marathon weeks, I have been focusing on getting myself back in line with the person that I want to be. Finishing the marathon really gave me the go ahead to get back to working hard to get done what needs to get done. It also has enabled me to get sick surprisingly, go figure. In this time, I have really done a better job of connecting with God. I have been journaling, getting back into Church, reading the Bible, memorizing scripture...really just taking time to hang out with God. One of the things that I am finding is that I have more energy for life. It is not just in the results, but in the pursuit of trying new things. What has been frustrating is that no matter how much I do, or what plans I try to make, nothing seems to pan out. There seem to be no results, nothing that works. It is amazing to me that I don't have some role to help people right now. I am shocked that in my life right now, I am not doing more to make a difference in people's lives. I realize that right now, my relationships with people seem distant and that even the people who I don't know, I am reluctant to start up a conversation or try and make their life better. I am more content to just keep to myself. But I know that God is calling me to do more. My desire is there. So while I know that I am making progress and I know that I am becoming more fun and less depressing, I need to make some more progress and focus on the person I am and not my "resume" of what I am accomplishing. I really think that where I go from here is key. My time at Famous Dave's seems to be coming to an end. My opportunity to do what I really want is now. The adoption is over. The kids are set in their patters. Before Kathy gets this principal gig, if that happens, I should have a firm foundation on the next step of life. I hope and pray God that you are leading me where I should go and not watching me mess up your plan. I really have the desire to live for God and for others, it just doesn't seem like I am there yet.

"Summer on the Mainland"

Summer on the Mainland,whear the fairies flutter around,

Summer on the Mainland,when flowers are to be found.

When the light,melts the snow,when the flowers start to grow,when the animals say hellooooooooooooo

It's a Summer on the Mainland!

Fairies fly! fairies fly

All the birds sing!all the birds sing

We enjoy, this kind, of happines,in the Summer on the Mainland!

[instremental break]

The Annimal Fairies help the animals,

They get the bears, out of hibernation,they even help the little birds flyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

When the animals are on the Mainland.

The Water Fairies, make the super,strong,waves,and help,the tadpoles swiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiim!

When the water is on the Mainland

FUN AT FAMOUS DAVE'S

I woke up in a bad mood, played terrible at basketball and was not in a good mood. A nap helped, but then I found out that I was a little sick. We had a nice "sick day" and at Famous Dave's I did a much better job of loving others. I agreed to just have more fun, and guess what, it works. I do pledge to do a better job of being more competive and working hard.

SPEEDWAY JOB

The job market has been flowing. I got a call from the recruiter today from Speedway and an email from the guy at Community Christian and it looks like there is some stuff that I may be able to do. So far, nothing that is overly exciting, but I see God working through all of this. I really did like the PADS thing, so overnight may be cool. The only problem is being crabby. I don't think I was all there today. I wonder if that would change. I just have to keep being the good me.

PADS

I took my first dare today, the jog around the neighborhood...and I think it actually worked. I think this God guy has something going here with this prayer thing. I also took my first jog since the marathon...man it is a struggle. I also have been spending too much time thinking about this job thing. Get off myself already! And then we went to PADS. I spent the last four hours just reading...and it was great. I don't know if this means that I should spend more time volunteering or take advantage of my ability to work through the night, but either way, this was a good step towards something.

NEW JOB

It was struggle today. First, the family is great. I played with Liana all day and at dinner the kids were just great to each other. They were really nice. We are so blessed to have the kids we do. We hit a snag though...work. I just know it is time to go, but I don't know where to. I want to put in the work, but I want to let God take control too. I see time for change, but I don't know what the change is. I am excited about speaking, college professoring and other stuff; but nothing just happens. Anyway, if I am going to love people, I have to quit thinking so much about what other job I can get and start thinking about who I am.

CULVER NIGHT

It seems like I just have a desire to become more fun. After speaking yesterday and working at Famous Dave's, I can see progress being made. And today I took another step by applying to a bunch of colleges for adjunct professor stuff. I am even being better at relating to people. Still though, there is something inside of me that just doesn't want to relate to people or that shies away from the opportunity to really get to know people. People are fun, and I just have to realize that I can really help others if I just give them a chance. And they can help me. Let's do some loving!

BENET DAY

The training is over, the marathon is done and now the Benet retreat is complete. I can get back to life tomorrow, and it feels good! I feel like it is a time for change...a time to get back to being me and having fun in life. Of course, some work has to be done for this to happen, and I'll probably have to get away from Famous Dave's, but it looks like the time. I really enjoy doing the speaking thing now. I would really like to be a college professor. I need to just put everything out there now and we'll see where you want to take it. I just am excited about the process.

LAST TRAINING

Today was the last day of marathon training. I have to tell you that this may be my best marathon. I am so proud of myself and have really put the health worries behind me. I don't care what happens Sunday, this was totally worth it. Of course, we'll see how I feel Monday. I have to admit though, I didn't see this one coming big guy, but I really think that through this whole process, you have made me a little bit more like the person you want me to be. You got a crazy way of working, but I like it!

DAIRY HUT

I was in a much better mood today, got some stuff done and slept a whole lot. It makes a big difference. I do hate when things go wrong. So sure I missed a meeting, but I guess there is a plan in everything. I got to spend time with the family and made some kick butt pizza. I just have to thank you for how life is going right now and ask that you provide time and resources to do what you want me to do.

CATS AND DOGS

I have to figure out why I just go through periods of being "down". I think that it has to do with no rest, but there is also the "pressure" of having something to do. With this Benet thing next week, and the desire to just rest this week, it seems like when I have things to do that aren't getting done, I really freak out a little bit. In my attempts to please other people, it seems like I don't do a very good job of being the person I want to be. I have to admit that while I believe that I will do a good job at stuff, actually doing it, when the time comes, makes me a little nervous. When it gets done though, I am fine. So in times like this, with the marathon looming, I also have to get stuff done. Regardless, I have to focus in the moment, plan a time when I will get whatever I need to get done and then live life to the full.

MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL

Alexa and Liana asked today if they could stay up with Dad tonight and watch football since they didn't have school tomorrow...the dream is alive! I have to make sure that even though this is marathon week, I can't be so self-consumed that I lose my main focus of serving God through this and everything else. I can't be so concerned with taking care of my body that I forget about putting God first. Help me find some balance in all of this and help me to love others...and not be so shy about it!