DONUTS

I wonder why I go and do doughnuts. I know that it is a good, free way for me to get away, somewhat like retreat time, and just spend time with "adults". I know that it helps out those who are working the trailer. I know that my time there is good for Rob. I know that while it is hard work and makes for a difficult time getting somebody to hang out with my kids for those days, that I somewhat enjoy it. I just wonder if it is really helping God in any way. This is the last area of my life where I may be doing something just for money. And while I wouldn't do it if it cost me money to do, that I make money for doing it is surely a plus. I guess really the only problem is the kid thing. I know that the timing isn't great and that the kids really enjoy it, but I guess that it is better than during the school year. Does is serve you though? It is a way for me to use my service skills to reach others, but the kicker is that you never really know if that works. And really, I have not done a good job of serving others in the fact that most of my service is to the people coming to the trailer. I think it could be for God, but just like fasting, my focus was not there this time.

MARK DAY

We went to medieval times today, and it was awesome! Mark really loved it and even better, he got crazy cheering for the green and going nuts. He is such a great kid and sometimes it is hard to just have fun with him because he is so smart and serious at times. It was just great! And to talk in an accent for two hours. Awesome! It was also great to just have time to talk. Anyway, once again it is confirmed, great kid!

MARK'S BIRTHDAY

Looking people in the eye, being selfish, there is a lot that I have to work on. It seems like the further I come I just always find more stuff, which is good because I want to be a better person. I realize that in attempting to be a better example to my kids, my priority should be to be the person that God wants me to be. So I'll strive for that and then let husband and parenting come after that. I really do wonder why Kathy hates me though?

LEGO FUN

We had tennis class, lego library and went to PrairieFest...all with the kids and they were awesome...all day long! It was another reminder of what great kids we have. I also heard three different sermons by women and one about marriage that was really good. I realized that as a person, as an example, I need to treat Kathy better, be a good husband and show these kids what that looks like.

THE VILLE

Who would have thought that we would be out until 11:00? I have to stop giving into fatigue. I am preaching to my kids every day that we shouldn't be selfish, and all I think about all day is how tired I am, what is going on with me, how I can get my work done or what I need to do to stay healthy. Well, guess what, first I need to trust in the Lord and then I need to stop being a wimp and man up. I can be tired at bedtime, but before then, I have to stop searching for ways to get my nap in or recover from the night before.

AQUARIUM

It was a great plan, that almost immediately went bad. We got to the Shedd Aquarium and the line was crazy. We had to wait like two hours to get in. But our kids were awesome! They played in the lawn, made up stories, just hung out together. Man are we blessed. And by the way, I am happy. Am I loving others though...I sure do hope so.

5 POUNDS OF WINGS

While maybe we did waste an hour of the pastor's life, eating five pounds of wings is pretty impressive...and for breakfast! What a deal! And all after a good workout. Running around all day getting the kids turned out to be a pretty good deal after all. They got to play with their friends, I got my meetings in, and it was all good. Am I happy? Most of the time. But I am tired a lot too...I have to get past that!

PARTY DAY

It was an action packed day. First, we went to Church. Then we went to see how the old world settlers lived. Next was Suzi's birthday and finally Lydia had a party. And our kids were amazing. Tessa is back to being Tessa, fun to hang out with. Mark is more funny than ever this summer. Alexa is working as hard as ever. And Liana, well she just needs a nap! But while I am having somewhat of a tough time finding energy and getting burned out, I always need to remember what a great family I have and to "rejoice in the Lord always".

ANOTHER WEDDING

This was different as we went to the park for the Leigh and Brent wedding, but it turned out pretty good. They really seem to love each other, so that is really good. And the party after was great...and I didn't even eat out of control. Our kids are so wonderful. I am really proud of them. Great kids! And now it is 2:00 in the morning and I still can't sleep...I should be a real joy to live with tomorrow.

BASKETBALL

It started good with getting to see Brownie and Francis at basketball and having fun. I got in weightlifting, prayer time, a jog and hung out with the kids. In fact, I even got to get some service in putting up a tent. But the day came to a halt when Liana not only lied, but lied to get her sister in trouble and tried to get Suzi in trouble. I have never come so close to hitting one of my kids. I don't know what to do. I know that she is only four, but this is not acceptable. I hope to use great wisdom in this one because stuff like this is horrible for the family and horrible for the kingdom.

SLEEPOVER

Well, we did get some stuff done and didn't really compromise life even though there was a sleepover. I did eat too much, but I didn't go crazy. So far, for a week into the system, it has been good. I do enjoy really sticking with the program, and I know I get somewhat undisciplined, but I am making strides. I keep beating myself up for not doing enough to get along with people, to connect with people, but I have to be the person God created me to be. As long as I am not operating out of fear, I can do what God wants me to do. I did realize yesterday that not a lot of sleep and not a lot of food are not a good mix...maybe that is why I am tired all of the time.

MATH DAY

I am just tired all of the time, and can't wait to sleep at the end of the day. Can this be what 40 is like? Mentally, maybe hanging out with all the kids...all day, maybe that is what is getting me. But maybe I just need to figure out a way to get it done!

BIRTHDAY

It didn't seem like a great "plan", but it was a great birthday! I really felt like I needed some time with God, and just hanging out, just me and God, was really good for putting life back into perspective. My life is not about myself, but how well I do, and we do, in respect to our relationship with others. As a husband, I can accomplish nothing without my wife. As a father, I can do nothing if my kids are not on board. And as a person, if I am not helping other people to know God (especially through service), then my life will never be what it can be. And to top it all off, Tony got a teaching job! And that was the clincher, my fortieth birthday was the greatest ever!

FAST DAY

I hope that Tony gets this job, or this day of fasting was really a waste. For some reason though, I am just back to my old getting mad days. It's not the fasting, it's something about my mood. I just hope that tomorrow I can do a little better...and the next day...and the whole next year of my life. I am sure that after I spend a day of reflection, it will all be clear.