CAR SHOPPING

I think God just erased my blog because I was getting too selfish and too complaining. Sorry!

CAR SHOPPING

First the lawn mower goes down. We can't find anything at the Ford dealer. Then, just when it looks like something positive will come out of this whole thing, and there will be 8 seats in the car...woops, another model. These have been a couple of very depressing days. And being sick hasn't helped. Because of my health, I have failed to keep up with life. But now that that is over, I feel better. We'll see how it feels when I wake up. But I have to remember to not be all about me these days.

CAR GONE

So we lost our car today. Not only did this ruin our day, but man, we are really going to have to figure out some of our money situation. I guess it is good that this happened now, when we are going to have some money to pay for it. What is $30,000 anyway. I hope we are ok for awhile.

SICK DAY

After a late night Cubs' game, I didn't feel too good today. It is somewhat encouraging, because at least I have an excuse. I felt bad, but now it makes sense. I was doing so well though. And today I forgot about Liana's swim lesson. I missed Alexa's egg drop. But the Field Trip seemed to be a good time. It was great to see how good of a person that Mark is and when you see him live and in person, there is less concern because he really does a great job around all the people there and does a great job being an example to others.

CUBS GAME

I don't know why I am so tired these days. Maybe it is from a lack of eating. Maybe it is from a lack of healthy food. Maybe I just need to sleep more. I just know that I missed out on a lot of fun, and could have made tonight at the Cubs' game a lot more fun for everybody, if I just would have been more energetic or fun. Why am I so negative?

HOLY THURSDAY

The plan seemed to have worked out well, until I got Mountain Dew from Speedway. All in all, it was a great Holy Thursday. We had no official "Last Supper" the Church was closed, but just eating, healthy food, was great! I think I could have fasted one more day though. Thank you so much for letting me do that. Now if I could just get my parenting down. I know I was crabby all day, so while the kids may have been a little off, I know I could have been better. Sorry! Some days I just don't get myself.

THREE DAYS

Today I realized that Jesus was in the tomb for three days so it makes sense to fast for three days. And I will say that today was the easiest of the three, even with basketball in the morning...although my effort wasn't the greatest. Going shopping and helping my friend really was fun and picked up my mood. I thought that maybe I am here on this Earth so that I can help a small number of people instead of something grandiose! And that is ok.

DAY TWO

With every hour, I set a new record. The only problem is that over the last twenty-four hours I have become all about me. I hate being like this. I am realizing ever slowly that maybe there ain't such a great plan for me in this world. If I could pick to do anything, it is what I am doing right now, but there ain't a lot of prosperity and fame in hanging out with your kids. I'll wait for a whisper, and I am willing to do whatever you want God, but if this is it...cool!

GOODBYE FAMOUS DAVE'S

After over three years, the Famous Dave's career finally came to an end. It was about as bad as an ending as I could imagine without spilling on anyone or completely messing up a credit card. I just realized that I had wasted the last two years of my life, settling for a job that was all about money and going against all principles that I stand for. I felt bad that my friends and family paid $30 to "celebrate" the last day. And there was no way that I wanted people to know, but it got out and then it was all over. I guess to keep it secret would have been almost impossible. Overall, I just left with a bad taste in my mouth. It was nice though to get rid of all that stuff and to now have nothing going on. I really feel like now I can focus on just helping people, kids especially, to find God. Forget about the money, I think it is all about helping people for the next couple of months...and being a better dad.

FIX THE SHARK

When the highlight of the day is fixing your kitchen vaccuum cleaner, then it ain't a very good day. Looking back, I was a much better dad today, laughing and hanging out with our kids. But the key call came at the end of acting class. My logical mind told me to not go to Mickey D's, but for some reason we went, Mark worked me for a Happy Meal and we stayed up and talked for like an hour about trouble hanging out at school with the boys and how hard it is to relate to some of the "stupid" stuff boys in third grade do. I don't know how to handle this as a dad, but I do know that we aren't going to "fix" this, but that we can only listen and look for your guidance in this. I don't know what to do, but I hope you are going to keep me going in the right direction. Mark has made me acutely aware, once again, of my need to try and relate to everyone...if not only for God, but also for my children.

PLAY PRACTICE

What the heck is wrong with me. It was another day of eating, and while progress is being made, I was even edgy with other kids over here. Some days I just feel like I am doing what you want me to do, but these days it really seems forced. I hope to get better, so we'll see tomorrow. I might need a little help!

CLEAN

The house is getting clean, stuff is getting done...and that is good, but I just want to make sure that I am not ditching my kids. We did a good job trying to be nicer today. And I didn't over-react to shintamo. Overall, I made some strides and have done a better job today, but I know that I need to laugh more, have more fun and be a better dad. I have really let my circumstances get the best of me, and I can't do that.

CLEAN DAY

Ok, so if serving is my nature, today was a good day. I know that I got a lot done today and the house is in order, but I still have to be able to spend time with kids too. Luckily, today was a sick day, so it all worked. I was mad though. I am sorry. Forgive me. I don't know why I am so on edge. Used to be one day of fasting was easy, but today I was really irritable. I do know this though, I haven't enjoyed playing basketball in quite some time. It is really fun.

ROUGH WEEK

I am really tired today and I got a lot off the wagon...but looking back since Friday...I could have really hurt myself and now my back feels at least as good as it was. So I guess I have been pretty fortunate. Sure, our money seems to be going a little tough, and Famous Dave's is coming to an end...and I was just ticked off all day...but this week is over and tomorrow starts a new era!

HOME AND SCHOOL DAY

This one really turned into an entire day. First, I was late to get the kids after taking a long nap. Also, we spent the entire "after school" portion of our day at Southbury. I think the kids really like it though and if people want me to do this, then what the heck, might as well go all out on this dork thing.

GO CUBS

Is it a sign of maturity that I could care less about baseball, and pretty much sports in general, or is it a sign that I am becoming the most boring person on the planet. Right now, I would rather stay home, work out and just go through the day with the kids, making lunches, doing best and worst and reading to them then do this "fun" stuff. I wonder if it is good that I enjoy living each day or is it bad for me to not have more "interests". I do recognize the need to simplify, but what is simplifying has taken away the passion I have. Besides God right now, what is that passion...and is that enough?

NCAA TOURNEY

We watched the whole game, and it was solely out of committment rather than enjoyment. I will admit, there was probably more joy about getting the house in order than in watching the game tonight...so I am pretty sick. What is cool is that watching sports and eating, my two main deterrents to the faith, are beginning not to matter to me. I still like them, but I think that between that and Coke, there is nothing really now that I can't "give up". Putting God first is becoming easier and easier...now I just have to make sure to love people and not judge people.

SLEEP TEST

You gave me the chance to be selfless, and I lose a couple of days of sleep, and I totally fall apart. I realize now what an idiot I have been and feel totally horrible. I will definitely get some sleep tonight, but I anxiously await the next time I have to go without sleep doing stuff for others so that I can do better. Looking at the week ahead, I think I will have my chance.

STAR WARS PARTY

There was a tough decision to make. Ok, not really tough. I just gave up a day to plan the Star Wars party. So at night, I am grumpy, totally exhausted and you know what...really happy I did that. Now today we get to see the Zippers, go to Arlington Heights and then go to the Gala. All in all, this is a great chance to be totally selfless. Thanks!